Television Betrayed Me and Gave Me Nightmares

The trailer for the It remake was recently released and I barely could watch it. I had to hold the phone as far away from me as I could and keep one eye closed, all while I screamed, “NO! NO! NO!” The trailer gave me the idea for this post, because it made me realize that my three biggest fears are all attributed to either a movie or a tv mini series!

First we’ll start with my fear of CLOWNS and the original mini series It, since that’s what inspired this blog. I never had issues with clowns before I saw It. Before they were just lovable funny looking people trying to make others laugh and now they are the face of pure scary evil. I can’t remember how old I was when I saw the mini series but I know I was in the later years of elementary school. My father was a Stephen King fan, we had many of his books on the bookcases in the house and because of my father’s fandom I had also already watched the movies Pet Sematary and Cujo. While those movies did scare me, it did not prepare me for the fear that would be with me forever once I watched It. I can’t look at clown now without wanting run away screaming. I actually had a friend who was a professional clown for a time and I could barely look at her when she was in makeup. Pennywise was the most monstrous creature to ever haunt me in my nightmares and he made simple everyday things hard to be near, like sidewalk drains or sheets on a clothesline. The funny thing is, I love this mini series! I’ve watched it more times than I can count. I don’t get as scared as I used to when watching it because I know what to expect and when to expect it. However I still have to cover my eyes during certain scenes. 

Next up is my fear of BIRDS and obviously this is due to the Alfred Hitchcock film Birds. My father and mother attribute a lot of my fear to this incident:

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While in Italy, at St. Mark’s Square, I fed some pigeons. My tiny self had a little seed and the pigeons decided I was their friend and they could swarm me. I obviously don’t remember any of this but there are pictures to document the beginning of what would be a life long fear.

I can’t remember how old I was when I saw Birds but I believe I just randomly caught it on TV and I’m sure I wasn’t older than 10 years old. I couldn’t draw my attention away from this movie and I just kept watching the horror of these every day creatures raining down pain and torture among people in a small town. I think this must have brought back memories from that day in Italy. Now I can’t have birds near me without having a slight panic attack. I don’t trust their empty dead eyes and their sharp beaks. They will forever be the mortal enemies that I can’t fight because of the fear I’ll be pecked to death. I’ll add that I do love the movie Birds, just like I love It. I must be a glutton for punishment.

The last fear is DEATH and yes I know that pretty much everyone is scared to die, but it actually gives me anxiety talking about it and I can only hope that I make it through this last paragraph without freaking out. My fear of death came from the most unlikely place, Anne of Green Gables. This adorable, lovable and light-hearted mini series introduced me to death at the age of five or six. I had seen death many times in other movies and tv shows, but I don’t think I ever really acknowledged what happened, not until Matthew Cuthbert died on Anne of Green Gables. While watching it, I turned to my mother and I asked her what it meant when someone died. She explained it to me in the best way a mother could and I immediately began to sob. I didn’t realize there was going to be an end to my existence. My world was shattered and I would forever be in fear of when my day would come. I don’t remember much at that age but that entire scene is so vivid in my head. It was inevitable that I would learn about death at some point in my youth, unfortunately Anne of Green Gables was the thing that broke the news to me. I do still love the books and the mini-series, but for the rest of my life I will associate it with death.

So there it is, my three biggest fears and how they came to be because of some tv mini series or movie.

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2 thoughts on “Television Betrayed Me and Gave Me Nightmares

  1. Three big fears. I vaguely remember It and the Stand. I mainly remember the whole bit with the kids was better than the bit with the adults heh. I would like to go back and watch them both some time. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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